Good...afternoon.  I'm posting a little early today, both because Jessica gave me a handwritten list that I have to type up, and because I want the evening to myself.  So yeah, here are 10 things that Jessica hates about weddings.

10 Things I Hate About Weddings

1. Expensive destination weddings.  Are you secretly hoping I RSVP "regretfully I cannot attend" so that you don't have to buy my dinner?
2. Toasts that become roasts.  Chose your maid of honor and best man wisely--make sure these people have a filter.  They know your past and can bring up the "ex-files".
3. Freakish themes.  Don't mandate that your wedding party dress like freaks just so it makes you and your husband look good (think 27 Dresses.  If you have not seen it, watch it.  Learn from it).
4. Seating arrangements.  If you must assign your guests to tables, be sensitive and thoughtful.  Don't leave your adult single friend sitting at the kids' table to babysit.
5. Poorly planned venues.  If it's winter, have it indoors, please!  Don't make guests suffer inclement weather.
6. Nourishment.  Serving the reception dinner late, especially without sufficient appetizers, is hard on your guests.  Bread and crudite only tide people over for so long.
7. Dry weddings...unless it is for religious reasons.
8. Groomsmen and bridesmaids hooking up at the wedding.  Keep it in your pants for just one night.  I beg of you.  Especially if this leads to drama afterwards.
9. The bouquet toss.  Extra annoying: playing "Single Ladies" by Queen Bey.  The bouquet toss has tainted that song forever.  By the way, thanks to the person who inevitably forces me to participate in the bouquet toss, thus publicly announcing that I am still single.
10. Bad music/entertainment.  Please do not invite your little brother's garage band to play your wedding.  Please get a decent DJ/wedding singer/orchestra.

Well, gang, I'm off to read for the rest of the evening.  I hope that you all have a lovely time watching fireworks, or doing whatever it is you're doing tonight.