Evening, folks.  Jessica and our friend Marcus hate stuff about traveling.  I’m too lazy to log onto my computer and format this properly, so I’m doin’ it on mobile.

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10 Things I Hate About Traveling 

1. Flying Coach: well, everything except for the price.
2. Sitting next to people who snore: also, sleeping next to people who snore.  Snoring in general. 
3. Layovers in crappy, antiquated airports: especially if there is nowhere to eat and nothing to do (also see #9). 
4. Long security lines: I am working on getting TSA pre-approved as we speak. 
5. Carry-on baggage scans: Jessica’s tip is to not pack jelly beans in your carry-on.  Apparently they look like drugs when x-rayed.
6. People shoving oversized bags in the overhead bins that take up too much room: also, YOU KNOW if your bag is obviously not going to fit up there.  Physics, yo. 
7. Attempting to pack according to the weather forecast: obviously, meteorology can’t predict everything.  It does suck when you’re wearing flip-flops and you should have brought snowshoes. 
8. People who hog the armrest and invade your leg room: especially when they cross their legs so that their feet are dangling in your space. 
9. Slow WiFi: hope you downloaded some movies off Netflix. 
10. Sitting in front of kids who kick the back of your seat: a cocktail sounds nice right about now. 

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I’m flying to Hawaii in October.  It looks like I’m doing an out-of-town show the night before, and my flight leaves at 6 am.  Maybe I’ll just stay up all night so I can sleep through the five-hour flight. 

I’m watching Gordon Ramsay annihilate a local chef on Hulu.  I hope you all have a nice evening.