I had a lot of questions when my alarm went off this morning.

What day is it?

When did I change my alarm to the theme from Magnum P.I.?

Why is there a lemur onesie at the foot of my bed?

Anyway, today’s screenshot comes from Jenny. Some guy on OKCupid saw in her profile that she does stand-up comedy, and he had something to say about it. Of course.

First of all, she already performs stand-up comedy, and gets paid decently to do so. She just scored an audition for a major network TV show, so I would say she’s doing alright writing and performing her own material.

I suggested to Jenny that she let this guy write whatever he thinks is funny, then send him the link to her YouTube page so he can see how good she is.

This is why I hate telling guys on dating sites (and actually, people in general), that I do stand-up. There are generally three responses:

-“People tell me I should do stand-up. I could do it.” (By all means, please get onstage and see how much work goes into making an audience laugh.)

- “Let me tell you this completely cliche sexist joke that has been done by every open mic’er in their first set that I assume no one has ever thought of before, and that you should tell onstage.” (Spoiler alert: it’s usually the exact same offensive joke that every other guy on dating sites wants to tell me.)

-“Are you funny? You must either be not funny or really damaged as a person.” (Well, maybe I’m both. The two are not mutually exclusive.)

Ok, rant over. As I’m sure you can tell, I’m getting emotionally exhausted with online dating. My heart’s not in it, and I hopefully won’t be active on the apps much longer. But that’s a story for another day.

See you guys tonight. Is it weird that now I kinda want to go to work dressed as a lemur?