Hi guys. Sorry for what is going to be a short, late, picture-less post. I was out having dinner with my friend Andrea and just got home.

You know how a lot of the messages you get on dating apps (women especially) are extremely generic, and you're pretty sure the person just copied and pasted the same text and sent it to 50 people? Think of how much time you could save if you had a form letter for fending off potential suitors, like those depressing one-page rejection letters from colleges.

Dear applicant: I regret to inform you that you have committed one or more of the following offenses:

you only text me after 2 am, and it always says "wyd"
you repeatedly send me pictures of your genitalia after I have asked you not to
you asked me if my job/degree is "real"
you tried to get me to meet you at Denny's at midnight on a weeknight, and when I said no, your friend sent me a two-page racist rant on OKCupid.
you elbowed me in the face on the dance floor at Harlow's and didn't notice, so I had to go to the bathroom by myself to clean up my bloody nose

As you have violated the terms of service, contact will be terminated immediately. Any further transgressions will be screenshotted and uploaded to a blog.

By the way, every single one of those scenarios actually happened to me. Truth is stranger than fiction.

Today is the one-month anniversary of this blog. Thank you to the people all over the world who are reading and hopefully enjoying this endeavor. I'm putting a ton of time and effort into it, and hopefully Evan will be able to write more posts once he settles in at his new job.

It's an appropriate time to wrap up the situation with Matt and tell you what happened: nothing. Sometimes the timing is wrong for one or both people. If someone is having a hard time deciding if they want to be with you, there's your answer. I don't think that Matt reads the blog anymore, but if you are, I just want you to know that I'm not angry. I wish you the best. This is just the end of the brief chapter you had in my life.

In happier news, Erin and I are going to watch A Christmas Prince on 12/17 and live-tweet (more like drunk-tweet) throughout the movie. The reviews are hilarious. It's going to be a good time, and you should follow me on Twitter @nicoleedidthat to see the madness as it develops.

Wow, this post actually turned out to be rather long. I need to get some reading and writing in, and also sleep at some point. See you lovelies in the morning.