Good evening. It's another early post, because I have a lot to do tonight.

Breakups are hard, but generally there’s an overall feeling that there’s something better out there. Breaking off a friendship is more difficult.

I’ve been changing these past few years. I’ve become less tolerant of disrespectful and destructive behaviors, both in romantic relationships and friendships. I used to quietly sit and turn red with embarrassment if I was with someone at a restaurant who berated the wait staff, then I would secretly leave them a large tip while listening to my friend rant about some stupid, imagined slight that the server had committed. I would let snide remarks about other friends or about my significant other at the time slide. Part of it was avoiding conflict. Part of it was fear that the anger would get directed towards me.

But...why did I have to put up with that? I realized fairly early on that I didn’t have to date someone who treated me, my friends, or people in general like crap. Why did I let my friends get away with it for so long?

Most of the time, if someone is negative in general, I just gradually back off and interact with him/her less. Sometimes the interactions are also better in small doses. Energy is contagious, and limited. I would rather surround myself with people who support me and who try to improve themselves.

I’ve only completely cut two friends out of my life. One was more of an acquaintance, and she made up a story about one of my friends hurting her. That was definitely unforgivable. The other scenario was harder. We had been friends for almost 10 years, but she had always been...tumultuous, mostly due to her romantic life. She would completely change for whichever guy she was with at the time. She ended up marrying a man who was not a nice person (I recognize that this is up for debate, but in my opinion, any guy who will sext his girlfriend’s friends from her phone and call the mother of his children a c**t is not a good person). It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I reached a point where I dreaded getting messages from her, because they were full of backhanded compliments and subtle insults. I ended up writing her a long Dear John-ish letter, and I cried the whole time I wrote it. I think it was hard on both of us. Maybe someday she’ll be back to the person I remember at the beginning. Maybe not.

Sometimes friendships, like romantic relationships, don’t last forever. People outgrow each other. It sucks, but it’s hard to let go of the memory of the person your friend used to be. I have an amazing group of people around me right now, and they lift me up rather than drag me down. What more can I ask for?

Alright, that's about it for this evening. See you guys soon.