Greetings! Jessica is back to writing top 10 lists of things she hates, and this week she is focusing on all things wedding-related. I can relate, based off my extensive personal experience in this department.

Tonight is 10 things she/we hate about proposals. 1-7 are Jessica. 8-10 are all me.

10 Things I Hate About You: Proposals

Proposing by hiding the ring in food. The surprise should be the proposal, not a chipped tooth or unplanned trip to the ER because I choked on it. If you are going to “hide” the ring, put it in a glass of bubbly where I have a chance of seeing it before I swallow it!
Proposing without a ring. If all you can afford is one out of a Cracker Jack box (‘There’s a surprise in every box!’), that’s ok! You should proffer a token of some kind that I can wear.
Proposing on the JumboTron. I appreciate that you want the whole world to know how you feel about me, but I prefer the moment to be between us, meaning you and me, not with the entire Raider Nation! (Esp. not with that motley crew!)
Proposing (anywhere) when you don’t really love me.
Proposing to me just to get your green card. See Number 4.!
Proposing via Skype or text. Unless you are in the military and stationed abroad and cannot do so in person. It is a personal moment to be experienced viscerally, not virtually!
Proposing with bad timing. I don’t care if you have planned to do it on a certain day at a certain time. If that time comes, and I just told you my cat died, please. Wait and let me mourn first. Asking me to marry you will not make me feel better about my loss!
Proposing when one/both of us are excessively intoxicated. I would like to remember the experience, and I don't want to have to explain it to our grandchildren. Also, this is not a good idea if you're an angry drunk and punch your new fiancee in the face within hours of proposing.
Proposing with a caveat: "I'll marry you if..." I would rather not be the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with if I will change core parts of my identity.
Proposing, but changing your mind afterwards. For instance, within 24 hours of the proposal. This should not be a "maybe" thing.

Alright, that about sums it up for the night. Comment if you have anything to add to this list. I really want to finish A Head Full of Ghosts, so I'll see you guys in the morning.