This guy seems nice, but...yeah. That was a bit much. Also, what is it with online dating and the run-on sentences?
I suppose it was inevitable, but I had to remove someone from this project for repeatedly sending me pictures of his genitals. I guess I’m just an old-school cowboy.
I was going to say you remind me of Charles Manson.
Not a whole lot to report today. My day job is kicking my butt, but I have full benefits so I can't complain. Trying to motivate myself to work on my various projects.
Erin and I started Journal 29, and it is HARD.
It's ok. I like feeling dumb.
And then there's the book of writing prompts that Erin bought me.
At a page a day, I should be a much better writer in a year's time. I apologize in advance to those of you who read this blog between now and then.
Oh yeah, and Jessica and I are writing one short story per week from this book of story prompts that she gave me earlier this year.
Jess and I are also reading half a book per week. This fortnight's selection is The Woman on the Orient Express by Lindsay Jayne, which I highly recommend so far.
If you have any suggestions on where Eddie and I should go in our tracksuits on Saturday, or if you would like to submit your own wacky experience, e-mail me at nicole@thebeentheredonethatproject.com.
Remember the guy who asked if I was still fertile? He messaged me again.
Yeah, not everything with shock value is funny. I’m glad I took the time to explain that to him. Hopefully he will learn from this experience. There may be hope for online dating yet.
Maybe not. Sigh.
So there was this guy.
Apparently I need to rethink my appearance. And then this dude:
A guy earlier today announced to me on Tinder that he’s dominant, then invited me over to “Netflix and see what happens”. When I told him I wasn’t into casual sex, he immediately unmatched with me. Which is why I don’t have a screenshot of that conversation.
The takeaway lesson here is that I need to screenshot faster. I’m mentally exhausted from looking at creepy messages, so I’m going to work on Journal 29 for a while.
Eddie and I are going out this weekend again to try to meet people. While wearing tracksuits. This is going to be epic.
Not much to report since last night. I’m tired. It’s almost Thanksgiving. I’ll write more later. I will, however, leave you with this quote from my friend Kiera:
”People say that I’m not open to love. What I’m not open to is BS.”
Truth.
Okay folks, I was gonna just go to bed, but then this gem popped up:
First of all, I want to give a shoutout to Agape Eco Nail Salon in Elk Grove. They had a customer appreciation day today, and I got a free manicure.
They deserve a medal just for dealing with my dry, disgusting man hands.
Not only did I get a free manicure, but they also had a complimentary buffet.
I had a 2 pm date at the cemetery with an, um, "actor", and we had plans to go to Whiskey Social at The Porch afterwards, so I summoned an Uber. Halfway through the ride, this happened:
Thankfully my driver offered to turn around and take me home. Alexander, you are a gentleman and a scholar. He will hopefully be contributing a story to the blog soon (if you're reading this, hit me up at nicole@thebeentheredonethatproject.com).
Verdict: the date was dead before it even started. At least I get a nap in today, plus my friends Jessica and Erin and I have been writing short stories and working on Journal 29.
I might post something else humorous tonight if I feel so inclined. See you all when I wake up.
I literally can’t even right now, but you know what I can do? Go to the cemetery on another dating experiment. You should all check out the post that’s coming this evening. It’s going to be a hoot and a half.
Greetings! I'm coming down from what I'm told was a pretty decent set at the Jovial Jive Turkeys show tonight, so I'm feeling really good.
We had a real live DJ!
This was my first time at a "drybar". Station 102 does not serve any alcohol, which explains the sparse bar.
I'll have...a glass of water, I guess.
Thanks to everyone who came out tonight, thanks to Tom Bomb for giving me stage time, and thanks to the bar for letting us have the show.
I will leave you with this before I go:
Joke's on you, Dan. I can have issues, and also not be funny.
I'm off to bed. I have to get up early for a date at the cemetery. Hilarity ensues.
That is the longest run-on sentence I have seen in my entire life. If someone were to read it aloud, they would die from not taking a breath.
I’m off to get a pedicure and work on my set for a comedy showcase tonight. More to come later.
It has been a long day, and this is going to be a short post. Work ran me ragged, but I got to have a nice dinner with my friend Kiera. I'm hoping that she will be a frequent contributor to this site. Kiera is hilarious and has a great take on everything.
After dinner I went to drink cheap whiskey with a guy I'm going to call Matt to give him some anonymity. I was honestly too tired to put a lot of effort into my appearance so I just showed up with glasses, frizzy hair, yoga pants and my "Don't Be a D.N.B." shirt. (At this point I figure that this is how I usually look, so guys might as well see it sooner rather than later.) Other than having flashbacks of vomiting up Jack Daniels' when I was eighteen, I had a really nice time. Matt is very low-key, and he has an awesome border collie. We spent most of the night watching YouTube videos and playing with his dog.
I know that this post isn't funny. It also doesn't have any pictures or other media. It was just nice to have a quiet evening with someone I wasn't worried about impressing. I would like to see Matt again. Hopefully he feels the same way.
I'm stopping here because I have to get up early to pick up a race packet, and the next few days are pretty jam-packed. I promise that the posts regarding this weekend's activities will be much more exciting.
Spoiler alert: Sunday is going to be a doozy.
Keep it classy, Sac.
I have a date tonight to drink whiskey in my gym clothes. I’ll keep you posted.
If anyone is seriously curious, my answer is always going to be the same between the hours of 7:30-4:30 on weekdays.
This just in: I’m an ass.
This has absolutely nothing to do with dating, but look at the gorgeous mac and cheese I just made from scratch.
If you have any ideas, recipes, or stories you would like to share and possibly have published on this blog, feel free to e-mail me at nicole@thebeentheredonethatproject.com.
I wasn’t aware this was on my calendar, but thanks for reminding me.
Apparently age is just a state of mind on Bumble.
This is an actual conversation my friend Krista just had with a guy from Tinder.
On the bright side, I have a date on Friday night with a gentleman who seems very nice. Stay tuned...
I’m sorry I couldn’t answer in a timely fashion. I have a job.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to get this joke.
The answer is 0%, Brandon.