Good evening. I was so proud of myself for passing a redonk hard puzzle in Trip 1907...then turned the page and the next one was even worse. Sigh.
Somehow I don't think this is the "prince meets a commoner and falls in love" scenario.
Alright, I need to work on a character outline for Bad Superheroes. See you guys in the morning.
Good evening! Today's creepy screenshots are a blast from the past. If I recall correctly, this post is from OKC a few years ago.
I'm a little afraid of this guy. I'm a little afraid of his dog. I kinda feel like I would rather hang out with the dog. But yes, I'm fairly certain that my Japanese mother and white father would be ok if I married a man who wasn't Filipino.
Tomorrow is the Portland trip! Eddie is picking me up bright and early so we can head out to the land of perpetual rain. I will also be meeting up with an old high school friend, so that should be fun.
Imma get to packing. See you guys in the morning.
Do you guys remember the dude from Tinder who was asking if my eggs were still good? My friend Sara in New York sent me these screenshots, so apparently it's a nationwide thing.
I needed a male perspective on this, so I sent Logan the screenshots. This was his response.
Offensive words aren't funny just because you add "lol" at the end. Sara is beautiful, funny, and smart, and she is going to find a guy who loves her for all of those things. Maybe not on one of the dating apps, but she will.
Jessica sent me another Top 10 article, so that will be tomorrow's evening post. I have some reading to do tonight, so I'm out. See you guys in the morning.
Hey guys. Jenny had her first match.com date last night. She sent me this text after she got home.
Good, he's met his quota.
This Attached book is dredging up some stuff. It's painful to go through, but hopefully I'll be able to break out of some patterns after processing everything.
Logan and I have been discussing some topics for the night posts, which is awesome. I'm also trying RPGs with another old high school friend on Saturday, so that will make for some fun material.
Sorry this is kind of a short post. I've been doing a lot of processing and reflecting on myself today, and it's not really anything I feel comfortable discussing in such a public forum. Self-improvement and admitting that you have faults is hard. I promise that the next few night posts will be more fun.
Sleep well, everyone. See you in the morning.
Greetings from crush-land.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is why I'm still single.
Before he gets hate mail, he was just kidding. We're actually watching a movie tonight and working on my set for Station 102 at the end of the month.
In a complete stroke of luck, I found a bunch of unbelievably creepy screenshots from 2014 that I thought I had lost forever. Well, maybe it's luck. It was actually kind of disheartening to look at them, but they will be a blog post in a few days. I just need time to process and find the humor in the situation.
I know this is a short post, but I'm going to turn my attention to the cute boy helping me write comedy. See you guys in the morning.
This has been a fabulous, restful two days off. Back to the grind tomorrow.
I feel bad. I'm sure this guy is nice. I just get the feeling he cut and pasted this message to 50 other women. Maybe I'm just weary from online dating in general.
I signed up for two speed dating sessions next year. One is 20s-30s, and the other is 30s-40s. If nothing else it should make for good stories, and hopefully I can make some new friends. If anyone else wants to give it a try, let me know and I can send you the info.
If you haven't already noticed, this blog is going through some changes. My blog partner is now semi-anonymous, and goes by Eddie. Eddie and I will be traveling to Portland the first weekend in February to check out the dating scene there, and hopefully get some new perspectives. If you live in the area and want to give us suggestions on things to do and/or hang out, hit me up at nicole@thebeentheredonethatproject.com.
I'm also trying a new segment for the blog where I try other people's hobbies to see if I can find new interests or develop new skills. Damian Harmony is explaining professional wrestling to me on Wednesday. Another comic is going to teach me how to pick locks. If you are willing to let me crash your hobby time, please contact me. I'll try almost anything.
I have another busy week ahead of me, but I'll be on my usual posting schedule. Thank you to everyone who reads and supports this blog. I appreciate everything that you do, and I love you guys.
See you in the morning.
Good evening, internet. Tonight's post comes to you courtesy of Dave Touchstone. Dave is a host and comic out of Stockton, CA, and the founder of Rare Breed Comedy. I met him while doing one of his showcases at Cactus Mexican Restaurant in Woodbridge, and I will be in another showcase there tomorrow night with Jacqui Pirl, Jon Porter, Wendy Lewis, and a bunch of other cool people I will be name-dropping later.
This is the picture Dave asked me to use for his bio. I guess you'll just have to come to one of his shows if you want to see what he looks like.
Ladies and gents, here is the first installment of Dave's World.
Hi everyone!
My name is Dave Touchstone. Nicole gave me the option to go anonymous but……fuck that. A little about me: I grew up in Stockton, have lived in multiple foster homes, lived with different relatives, and an orphanage (two times that I can remember), found out only on the last day of high school if I truly was going to graduate, got married and had a child by 21, got divorced and remarried at 30 and divorced again with a second child by 31…..so at the ripe age of 33, I decided – why not comedy? Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I can only watch so many episodes of Forensic Files to the point where I may be the first one to get away with it if I keep that up. In the last few years of doing comedy, I feel like I’m more of a comedy promoter than a performer. But one of my comic buddies did tell me, “If you made them laugh, then you’re a comic.” I think he’s right. (Insert smiley faced emoji here).
I’ve enjoyed reading Nicole’s blog and all the adventures of online dating. Or should I say misadventures? The messages are pretty crazy at times. I’ve done some online dating over the last few years, and the purpose of my post is to say it can work. It really can. Everything depends on both parties when they meet as to how serious they are about finding the right someone. The hardest part is? There are quite a few profiles to weed through, and unfortunately, a lot of bad dates that will happen until you can meet someone that captures your attention over everyone else. Here are just a few fun facts about online dating I uncovered while writing this:
· Women who post a photo on an internet dating site received twice as many messages as women who don’t (Maybe a picture of YOU would help….or a cartoon cat. Either is cool.)
· Most couples enter into an exclusive relationship after 6 to 8 dates (That seems normal to me.)
· Men who report higher incomes over $250,000 per year receive 156% more messages than men who report $40,000 to $50,000 (I ain’t sayin’ she a golddigger, but….)
· Nearly 40% of men do not feel comfortable meeting a woman online for the first time (We. Are. Pussies.)
· The line men use most to get a response from a woman through an online dating site is, “So what trouble are you getting into tonight?” (Okay, I made that one up, but still…..)
I was lucky enough to have met my now fiancé through online dating earlier this year. We both experienced the crazy world of online dating and shared them with each other, and we both probably didn’t know how things would turn out which makes the whole online dating thing so interesting. I had read another fact while putting this post together that men know if they’ve fallen in love by the 3rd date on average. For women it’s between 10 and 14 dates! Yikes! That’s a huge gap! I might have known sooner than date #3 to be honest. But what can I say? We’re very happy, we have such great times, we’ve explored another country together which is something I’ve never done before (Gooooo Iceland!) Online dating made that all possible.
I guess what I’m saying is……online dating isn’t a lost cause. It can be scary, funny, and humiliating at times (I’ve had my share of some stories!). But it can also be the best date you’ll ever go on and won’t forget. That’s exactly what happened to me. My advice is: don’t be afraid to go outside the norm, think of new and interesting dates to go on, and expand how far you’re willing to travel and meet new people.
In closing, if it wasn’t for online dating I wouldn’t be crazy in love right now. I’d still be sitting at home, watching my 87th episode of Forensic Files.
Thank you, Dave. Your post gives me hope that if I stick with it long enough, I can also find the love of my life through online dating. Let me look at OKCupid right now to see if I have any new matches.
It's cool, I'll just die alone.
Goodnight, world. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will see you in the morning.
First, let's get tonight's creepy screenshot out of the way.
I decided to check out his profile to see if he had any redeeming qualities.
Nope. Tom Bomb did tell me tonight that I should consider lowering my standards, but I'm starting to feel like I'm getting close to rock bottom.
Happy eighth night of Hanukkah! My friend Shanna had a party. The food and company were amazing.
Latkes
Shana's tree is amazing. She makes all of those 8-bit ornaments by hand, as well as the art on the wall. You should check out her Etsy page at Silly Shana's Square for fun nerdy gifts.
Me, Shana, Jacqui Pirl and Amber Whitford. Yes, Jacqui's boots light up.
Dave Touchstone of Rare Breed Comedy is writing a piece for the blog. Dave is an awesome comic and host, and I am in his Ugly Sweater Show at Cactus Mexican Restaurant in Woodbridge on Thursday. Dave's piece will hopefully be tomorrow's evening post, but by Dave's own admission he is rewriting it 4,566 times so I'll post it whenever it pops into my inbox.
I need sleep. Catch you guys in the AM.
As promised, here is my freak show Tinder conversation from this morning. To give you a little background, my friend Krista went on one date with this guy a few months ago, but she said he gave off a weird, controlling vibe. This guy also has a douchey shirtless profile pic.
This is a long message thread, but trust me, the payoff is worth it. Anyway, moving along:
Spoiler alert: he blocked himself after that last gem. Thankfully I caught the screenshots in time. I don't even know where to begin listing all that is wrong with this conversation. Krista is mortified, as am I. I have the sneaking suspicion that I would currently be dead had I gone out with this guy.
On a happier note, I got the iPhone X tonight, so I should be in a better mood now that I have a functional phone. I'm off to shower and get my sweater and fanny pack together for the work ugly Christmas sweater party tomorrow. If you guys feel inclined to discuss tonight's post, hit me up. I'll probably be awake for at least another hour.
This is a fun conversation I had after I got home from Comedy Burger.
I seriously get some of the worst messages from guys who "love comedy". Maybe because they just love having an excuse to say rude things under the guise of humor. Anyway, I'm sure I can look forward to a fun follow-up text from him after he reads this post.
It's early, and I'm already miffed that I had to get out of bed prematurely to jump on my desktop because Squarespace Mobile is on the fritz. I'm off to work. See you guys tonight.
I almost feel like this guy is trying to rap via Tinder.
...at least he's nice...
This has been a bittersweet day. Two of my close friends are moving away, so I had to say goodbye. It's a good thing for both of them. Life moves right along, and we have to roll with the changes.
On a happier note, this happened today!
Thank you to everyone for your continued support. I'm still amazed that anyone wants to read my ramblings. If you would like to contribute to the blog or participate in any way, feel free to contact me at nicole@thebeentheredonethatproject.com.
I made an early morning service appointment for my car tomorrow. Current me is cursing two-weeks-ago me. I'm gonna write and get some sleep, so I will catch you all in the morning.
Remember the 10:15 Buttrub guy from a few weeks ago? He's BAAAAAACK
I have so many issues with this one. Where to start:
On the bright side, Jacqui Pirl and I went to Yard House tonight and got some writing in. We ate too much, laughed a lot, and had a very frank discussion about dating.
First of all, I have to say that I love Jacqui as a person. The waitress forgot to charge her for her coffee, so she made her come back to the table and add it to the check. That's honesty.
I'm trying to talk Jacqui into trying speed dating. I did it three times back in 2015. I met a few decent guys, but more importantly, I made female friends (including my best friend). I did meet someone I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I probably should have been more specific.
Alright gang, last night was a late night and I need to get in some reading and writing before I go to bed. Catch you on the flip side.
Some messages are just so bizarre that I can't even respond.
I was originally going to post this screenshot back in November, but I'm glad I didn't because it keeps getting weirder.
I'm excited to announce that Freddie Junior wrote a piece that will be featured on the blog tomorrow night. I met Freddie the first night I did a comedy open mic, and he has always been warm and friendly. I recommend following him on Facebook if you have not done so already.
Sorry to be so brief tonight, but my day job kicked my butt today. I'll post something else awkward in the morning.
Good morning, world. I had a hell of a time getting out of bed, but I have some fun stuff planned. I'll have more substantial material in the evening post. For now, I need coffee.
Catch you on the flip side.
I have an announcement to make.
I think I'm going to get off of the dating apps.
Eddie has been telling me to do so for a while, and as much as I hate to admit it, he's right. There are some genuinely nice people on the internet who are looking for love, but there are also A LOT of really creepy guys (according to Matt there are also some really creepy girls, but I'm not the expert on that). The messages range from unintentionally mean to creepy to downright scary.
Eddie had another suggestion:
He has a point. I haven't even posted some of the worst screenshots yet. I'll think about it for a few days before I make a decision. If you have any advice or feedback, feel free to comment on this post or e-mail me at nicole@thebeentheredonethatproject.com.
On a happier note, the audience for this blog is still steadily growing. In particular, the number of RSS subscribers has grown exponentially over the past week. I have a feeling that I don't know most of you, but thanks. I consider you all friends.
I'm signing off to get some reading and writing in before bed. See you lovely people in the morning.
Happy Thanksgiving, beautiful people. I'm going to keep it brief this morning because I need to get cooking. I hope that you all have a wonderful day whether or not you celebrate the holiday. I'll post some super basic filtered food pictures later.
I was going to say you remind me of Charles Manson.
Not a whole lot to report today. My day job is kicking my butt, but I have full benefits so I can't complain. Trying to motivate myself to work on my various projects.
Erin and I started Journal 29, and it is HARD.
It's ok. I like feeling dumb.
And then there's the book of writing prompts that Erin bought me.
At a page a day, I should be a much better writer in a year's time. I apologize in advance to those of you who read this blog between now and then.
Oh yeah, and Jessica and I are writing one short story per week from this book of story prompts that she gave me earlier this year.
Jess and I are also reading half a book per week. This fortnight's selection is The Woman on the Orient Express by Lindsay Jayne, which I highly recommend so far.
If you have any suggestions on where Eddie and I should go in our tracksuits on Saturday, or if you would like to submit your own wacky experience, e-mail me at nicole@thebeentheredonethatproject.com.