Good evening! My comedy mom Allie Yada had a song lyric craft party tonight. Stephen Ferris carved up his bookshelf into wooden blocks, and we used them to make tiles.
Name that tune
That was my contribution. I left early because I get up at zero dark thirty for work, but I'm excited to see how everyone else's tiles turned out.
Time for sleep. See you guys in the morning.
Good morning! My plans this morning fell through, but it felt good to catch up on sleep.
I like his version much better than the original lyric.
I’m off to celebrate my dad’s birthday, and I have a song lyric craft party tonight. See you guys later.
Good evening, folks. The show tonight at Str8 Shooters went well. Yay.
I appreciate the concern, OKC, but I think I’ll be ok. I’m not that triggered.
Bedtime for me. See you guys in the morning.
Morning. This is a conversation I had with a guy on one of the dating apps over the span of a few minutes.
That was literally the entire conversation. I give him credit for humor.
Time to get up and do things. See you guys later.
Capitol Punishment was tonight. It was a blast, as always.
Still speechless.
I need to sleep. See you guys in the morning.
Good morning. This screenshot is courtesy of the same friend from yesterday.
First of all, this seems very much like a “to whom it may concern” response that this dude sends to everyone. Second of all...just no.
Also, does no one use punctuation to break up paragraphs anymore?
My friend and I were discussing last night how it seems like no one wants a relationship anymore, and it’s all about hooking up. I don’t really care, but it’s at a point where a lot of guys want to chastise me if I’m not into it. I’m getting prude-shamed.
Capitol Punishment is tonight!
Come hang if you’re free.
Good evening. I’m getting ready to go to bed since I have work and then Capitol Punishment tomorrow.
The profile photo is of Aziz Ansari. I am literally speechless about that bio. Holy hell that is one creepy run-on sentence.
I’m out. See you guys in the morning.
Morning. One of my girlfriends sent me this screenshot. Some dude has this as one of the pictures on his Tinder profile.
This isn’t the most offensive thing I’ve ever seen, nor is it the first time I’ve seen this in online dating. One guy even had a screenshot of his bank account summary. This particular guy’s profile is not much better, however.
This bio keeps getting stranger the more I read it. First of all, you’re probably not going to find a genuine girl by posting your credit score on your dating profile. And now I have questions. Is he betting on horse racing? Why does he do so many floral arrangements? What does he have in his second closet?!?!?
Maybe that’s where he stores all of his movies. I’m afraid to ask which genre they are.
Time to get up. See you guys later.
Good evening. I was in a showcase tonight at Laughs Unlimited. It went pretty well.
I feel kind of meh today, but the rain and Levar Burton Reads are mellowing me out. See you guys in the morning.
Good morning!
Spoiler alert: dating sites already have pretty much all of your information on display, so this is not a challenging game. Also, I now have a mental image of this guy as Billy the puppet from the Saw movies.
Tonight I will be at Laughs Unlimited with this awesome lineup of people!
Hope to see you guys tonight!
This post is essentially a commercial for my stand-up this week.
If you’re free tomorrow night, come to this show. The lineup is incredible.
Or come out on Saturday if you’re in the Vacaville area. Or both if you really like me and/or Robert Omoto.
Finally, I’m doing the sound for Capitol Punishment on Friday. These folks all kick ass at puns. Come out.
Bedtime for me. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. See you guys in the morning.
Good morning.
I don’t have a lot to say about this one. If you know me, you know that multiple texts during the workday and assumptions are two of my biggest pet peeves. I’m just tired. Physically and mentally.
It’s a busy week, though, so life goes on. See you folks tonight.
Good evening. I need to sleep.
I don’t know what that means. Nor do I want to.
I’m going to sleep. See you guys in the morning.
Good morning.
No. No, I would not. And perhaps you should use a different opening line.
It’s Monday morning and I’m already exhausted, but it’s a busy week so I gotta rally. See you guys tonight.
Good evening.
I had a pleasant dinner date. Now I need to sleep. I’ll see you guys in the morning.
I’ve been thinking about what to write since last night. I needed some time to process.
I stress the importance of following your instincts quite frequently. I think that people (especially women) pick up on cues that we can’t always put into words, but we know that something is wrong.
I went on a third date with a guy recently. On our first date, he made some comments about physical expectations in a relationship. It rubbed me the wrong way, and I stopped talking to him for a spell. He popped up again randomly a few weeks later asking what he did wrong, and we discussed it. I wasn’t 100% satisfied with his explanation, but I gave him another chance. The second date went fairly well. The thid date is where things started to get a little...weird.
The waiter at dinner turned out to be my friend’s little brother, and my date seemed put off by this fact. He actually got a little 20-questions about a few of my guy friends. We went out to a bar afterwards, and had a nice time talking. For a while.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but at some point the vibe changed. It reminded me of that post I made a few weeks ago about getting weirded out when guys are acting more drunk than they should be. He made a few comments about me giving up hobbies to spend more time with him (while in the same breath saying he’s not ready to get out of the dating pool). This devolved into him getting much too handsy for my tastes, so I left.
I guess my point is that at some point in the evening, I started to get a little scared. I can’t even really say why, other than that I could see things potentially going in a direction I did not want. Maybe I was being overly sensitive. Maybe I dodged a bullet. Either way, I woke up content with my decision.
Be safe out there, everyone.
Good morning! It’s cold, and I’m putting off getting out of bed.
This is one of my pet peeves. I’m sorry. I get busy, especially during the week. Chain-texting me doesn’t change that.
Alright, time to go do things. I hope that everyone has a great day.
This has been a long day. Work was exhausting. I let myself get dragged out to Flamingo House. A bunch of cops showed up to inspect the bar. This sign was in the bathroom.
The highlight of my night, however, was seeing this car.
I’m not sure if this is a cab or what, but I could see myself getting kidnapped in this car.
I need sleep. Goodnight.
Good morning. I am, as always, still really tired.
OKC needs to chill with the deep questions. This sounds like an essay prompt from one of the general ed classes I hated in college.
Yay, it’s Friday. See you guys tonight.
I found out recently from a third party that the other half of my last serious relationship lied to me about several big things. I feel unsettled by this, for obvious reasons. I’m not angry at the third party. I’m actually grateful. The truth will set you free, even if it might also piss you off.
I’m a little angry, but I’m mostly just tired. I’ve been done with that relationship for almost 18 months, and it sucks a little that this guy is still disappointing me. Onward and upward, though, as someone said to me last night. I’m tired of being angry. Moving along.
Speed dating matches came in today. I did alright. We’ll see what happens now.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m so happy that tomorrow is Friday. It’s gonna be a good weekend. See you in the morning.